Commitment issues....

Hi guys!! 

Hope you're all well.. I can't sleep as usual and its 01:26 *weeps* 

Anyways, I've been inspired to write this post after watching Shirley B. Eniang on YouTube,  where she discussed her issues with commitment and I INSTANTLY related to almost everything she was saying . 

Commitment is a word that has always been somewhat complicated to me, for obvious reasons, and not so obvious reasons. For example, In relationships it is usually displayed as some sort of privilege given to women by men if they consider you to be 'special' or rather a 'deserving' wifey material. But if you ask me, commitment is a choice we are all entitled to.

For a long time in my life, I've had an issue with commitment. I would do so many things at one time in order to distract myself. My thought process led me to believe that if I focus on many things at once, there would be more chance of success as I wouldn't really have to commit or have people rely on me, meaning I wouldn't have to worry about disappointing anyone, including myself. 

However, after much reflecting and self analysis, I realised that my lack of commitment to projects, people and responsibility was resulting in a lot of failures and loose ends which lead to me feeling empty and unaccomplished. I soon established this to be a danger zone that breeds self pity and unaccountability.

Growing up, I can remember having extensive desires and aspirations. They ranged from wanting to be a singer, to the point where I made my mum pay for weekly singing and piano lessons, which I later gave up as I wasn't able to be as amazing as Beyoncé and Whitney Houston (RIDICULOUS!), to perusing my career in fashion and design, which I later couldn't fully commit to because I wasn't able to be part of London Fashion week and have amazing life like illustrations of my designs.

What I'm trying to say is, a dream without commitment is as good as DEAD, so it's no wonder I became frustrated to the point of giving up. You have to maintain a dream, be passionate then commit and be consistent. If you do that, success has little to no choice but to work in your favour. 

This journey taught me that I'm a creative person. I have a variety of ideas and passions that I would like to peruse, but what I constantly need to remind myself to do is to focus and COMMIT. 

This mindset or rather habit sometimes reflects in my friendships and relationships. Yes, my heart is always in the right place and I will always do my best, but sometimes I struggle to commit to keeping to simple agreements, whether it's meeting for a coffee or booking an appointment to have my breasts enlarged (kidding). 

Anyways, let's share. What's been your issues with commitment? Do you struggle with similar issue? If not, how do you avoid these issues? 

Here's Shirley's Video on this, enjoy!

With love,

Bree xoxo